Going Home
by ReKoJ
Summary: Sands is kicked out of the CIA. He has no choice but to go home. How will he face his mother again? Can he face the demons that he left behind? rated M,
1. Chapter 1

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None (so far)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

He wasn't surprised when the doctors said that they couldn't help him. He could only partially remember what had happened but from what he could piece together; there probably wasn't a whole lot there for them to work with. So he was blind.

On the second day of his hospitalization **they **came to see him. **They **were people from the CIA. Given the contempt and the lack of sympathy they seemed to have, he could tell that they weren't his friends. They walked into his room as if they had a right to be there.

"Sands?"

Grateful for the cover that his sunglasses gave him he smiled. To them he would appear as arrogant as ever. As if staring out the window was more important then anything they could have to say.

"We're here on orders from Milo. He wants us to assess the reason you're here. And depending on that, either re-assign you or find out where you're headed."

Once again Sands snickered. Milo was the piece of shit that had assigned him to Mexico in the first place. His head hurt and he involuntarily put his hand on his temple as if to relieve pressure. "I don't know where I'm headed. I can tell you that re-assigning me won't be necessary. I have no eyes." He could feel the heat of their stares.

"What do you mean?"

Sands shook his head. "I'm sorry was I unclear? I. Have. No. Eyes. I was double-crossed and Barillo had my eyes removed."

The visiting agents just looked at him. He said this, with a calmness that was unnerving. As if there was absolutely nothing wrong with what he had said. Almost as if they had been having a perfectly normal conversation and he added as a side note, an after thought that his eyes were gone.

"Bullshit."

These two men had never worked with Sands. They had no idea what the man was capable of and that he would not be intimidated. He smiled at them and carefully took off his sunglasses. Through practice he knew where the men were standing and he was sure to look straight at them.

He reveled in the identical gasps that came afterwards. He loved to shock people. And these assholes had it coming; they were the ones that accused him of lying. He set his jaw as they continued to stare into the darkened holes that were his eyes. The silence became uncomfortable; like an itch in an inappropriate place that can't be scratched.

"What are you fuckmook's staring at?" He pushed his sunglasses back onto his face. He scoffed at them. "I told you. It was a little farewell present from Barillo before he was killed. No, I didn't kill him. I'm pretty sure that El did that."

"I don't think that re-assignment is necessary. I'm not sure how headquarters will want to proceed but after we talk to Milo we'll be back."

"You can tell Milo, from me, personally that he can suck my…"

They already knew what the rest of that sentence was going to be so they left. As soon as the two men left Lizzie, (his private nurse) noticed an instant change in his behaviour. The smug, arrogant, cocky attitude left. The only thing that remained was the tired, quiet and unsure man that she was used to.

"Mr. Sands? Are you alright?"

He smiled at where he believed she was standing. "Of course, Sugarbutt."

She waited a few minutes. She knew it wouldn't be long before he breathing would even out. Even if he started off faking she knew it would only be a matter of time before he would drift into his unpleasant dreams.

He's standing on a beach. The sun is warm and the sand is almost white. He's listening to the sounds of the waves splashing against the sand. Jena is standing beside him, smiling. He has just asked her to marry him and she has said yes.

_Later they watch the sunset. He holds her. She reaches up to touch his face and she screams. There's blood on her fingers. In the background he can hear a drill. Then his vision starts to fade. He doesn't need to touch his face to know that the wetness he can feel dripping down his cheek is his eye or what's left of it._

He sits up with a start. He won't scream; he bites on the inside of his cheek and swallows the scream. He screamed enough while they did it. He shook his head, shameful of his behaviour that day and of his own weakness. After Dr. Guevera finished his right eye he had stopped. There was a brief moment where Sheldon had actually believed they'd let him go. Then the drill started up again. Then he had done something that he'd never admit to anyone. He had begged and pleaded for them to stop. Obviously they didn't.

So now he would hold on to whatever dignity he had left. He would not scream over nightmares. He would holdfast and redeem himself in anyway that he could. And right now that was with silence.

Lizzie also remained silent. She saw the play of emotions on his face as he had some sort of inner struggle with himself but she made no move to comfort him. He may have only been there for a few days but she knew that he was extremely independent. If he needed her for something and he would have to be **really **stuck, he'd ask her for her help. She watched in amazement as all the tension left his face. It chilled her to watch how quickly he could turn off his emotions.

He turned so he was 'looking' in her direction. "Don't think too hard Sugarbutt, you'll short something."

"Mr. Sands, you're impossible."

He shrugged. "So I've been told." His smile widened. He looked cute in an almost goofy sort of way. She wondered what he was thinking and then decided that if Sands was thinking it, it couldn't be good.

He was thinking about the last person to tell him that he was impossible. He shuddered, despite his attempts to control it. He thought for a moment about Ajedrez. He had loved her, trusted her and had let her in; more than he had let anyone. She had used that against him.

"Lizzie. If you're there, leave."

She walked over to the door and closed it. At first she didn't think that her trick would work. It just happened for her that another nurse of a similar weight walked past the door.

Sands waited a few minutes. He must have been satisfied that he was alone. He removed his sunglasses and set them on the table beside the bed. He took a deep breath as if that would make something better. Easier. He raised his right hand and carefully traced the edge of his socket. He continued to rhythmically breathe. "You can do this." He muttered under his breath.

She watched all of this with a sense of detachment. Up until now she had only known what they could tell her. He was a CIA who had been caught doing his job and was tortured. That is to say that he had had his eyes 'removed.' Aside from that and the gunshot wounds he had sustained; there was no sign of any other 'torture.' Now, however the CIA wanted to wipe him out. This enraged her more than anything. This man had risked it all and lost more than that. And the only thing that they were willing to say was that he had known the risks when he took the job.

She knew that he was facing a very difficult task. And now, she saw it had just been made worse. Up until this point she had figured that he would deal with being blind the same way he'd deal with everything else. Now she knew that he was falling apart.

She watched as he covered his sockets with his hands. His whole body shook, she realized with no tear ducts this was as close to crying as he could get. His crying spell didn't last long. He reached over, picked up the phone and dialed a number.

She ended up going into the hallway because the mail carrier was heading towards Sands' door. She picked up the envelope and stepped back into the room. "Mr. Sands?"

He tilted his head in her direction. "For the last time Sugarbutt, it's Sheldon or Sands. Preferably Sands. Can you dig it?"

She smiled. "Oh Lord. Is there no end to your lame sayings?"

"Afraid not. I have a whole stockpile of them. So, what's up?"

"You have mail." She disliked the way he paled. It was as if he had been waiting for a catastrophe to strike and this piece of mail was exactly that.

"Give it here."

She handed him the simple white envelope. He gently ran his index finger along the envelope until he found the crease. He tore it open and out fell a piece of paper and a diamond ring.

"Lizzie. At any time that I was unconscious was there a woman with blond curly hair, green eyes and the body of a model that came to see me?"

"Yeah. She came in and spoke with Dr. Devel. She said that she was your fiancée. Since she was the only family that we could locate the doctor told her the condition that you were in."

"Well this is fucked."

"Sands…"

He held up his hand to silence her. "It doesn't matter. She's gone and I have more important things to deal with. The fuckmook's in cheap suits will be back soon and I have to make sure that I have answers to their questions. Can you leave again?"

At first she was going to protest. But she realized that he functioned better on his own. "Sure. You know my number if you need me." He offered her a tight-lipped smile and a slight nod of his head. He didn't pick up the phone again until he heard the door to his room close. He knew that this time she had really left.


	2. Chapter 2

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None (so far)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 2

As the phone rang he held his breath. He knew that he was taking a gamble. He knew that he didn't deserve to have her answer the phone but his mother was the last chance that he had.

"Hello." There was nothing but silence on the other end. "Hello?"

"Hi." Long pause. He was half tempted to say that he was terribly sorry but he had dialed the wrong number.

Marie-Anne furrowed her eyebrows. "Sheldon?" She knew that she had to be mistaken. Her son had had minimal contact with her since moving out for college when he was 18.

"Yeah Mom."

She was shocked. It took her a few minutes to collect herself. There was so much that she wanted to tell him but she knew that now was not the time to bombard him with questions. "So. Why the phone call?"

He had to swallow his pride. When he had left he hadn't been very nice about it, to be fair he usually wasn't nice about anything. But when he had left he did so with the intention of burning all his bridges and never looking back._ You don't have regrets so stop it! _"Um…I want you to come to the hospital. We need to talk."

She wanted to say no. She was angry with him for leaving the way that he had. She took a deep breath; no, this was her only child she couldn't abandon him now. "Relax Sheldon. I'll be there."

"Thanks."

As she hung up the phone she knew that there must have been something wrong, very wrong. Even as a boy he had been independent. She never had to worry about him.

She could remember when they first moved to Kentucky. It was just after she had divorced Jeffrey, Sheldon's father. Sheldon had always been a quiet boy; but that year something had started to change. He became even quieter and more withdrawn. Several of her nieghbours had said that they had seen Sheldon killing squirrels and birds and most of the neighbourhood strays had disappeared. She didn't believe them. Her son might have been a lot of things but shy quiet and withdrawn didn't mean psychotic animal killer.

As far as she was concerned her son just liked to be by himself. She had always thought that it was because of the divorce. She had always figured that he'd hit high school and he's open up. She didn't really think much when even during high school he remained quiet and shy.

Marie-Anne remembered how proud of him she had been when he had been accepted into a prestigious university. She had believed that his life would only get better from there. Her belief in this was only further cemented when after University he had been accepted into the CIA's training facility.

But that was when something had gone horribly wrong. He had suddenly stopped calling her; which hadn't been like him. They had **never **been really, really close, but it hadn't been like him to go months without so much as a phone call.

Now, years later she realized that it had been her fault. She thought that perhaps her nieghbours from long ago had been right. There was something wrong with her son, being that shy all the time wasn't normal. Now, it was too late. Now he was an adult and she feared that he had gotten into serious trouble. That was the only reason that she could think of as to why he would call her.

After calling the Airport and booking the nest flight to San Diego she started to pack a bag. She knew that her son had been in Mexico. What he had been doing there she had no idea. The important thing was that he was back in the United States.

As she left her house she left a voice mail for her lawyer. She figured at the very least he had done something illegal.


	3. Chapter 3

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None (so far)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 3

Sands sat in the chair by the window. He thought that the entire situation was pathetic. The worst part was, Lizzie had had to come in that morning and shave his face, showering was no big deal but getting dressed—now that was embarrassing. He had came to the conclusion that he had reached on The Day of the Dead; after smacking his head on the cement ledge—Being blind sucked.

He felt the sun on his face and leaked into the warmth. Feeling the warmth of the sun, if he ignored the sterile smells he could almost smells he could almost forget that he was in severe pain, sitting eyeless in a hospital, nervous, itching for a cigarette and waiting for his mother. In his mind he went back to happier times. Times when he felt as if he had the world by the balls and as if nothing could hurt him. He smiled.

He remembered the first time he left home (okay, maybe left was too strong of a word he had **moved **out). He was majoring in Criminal Psychology at the University. While there he had met a young man named Ricky. Ricky was everything he wasn't and they instantly bonded.

Ricky was the son of a rich man in Puerto Rico. He was smart, honest and handsome. Sheldon told him exactly what he had wanted to hear. For example, he told him that he was an orphan. He didn't want him to know that his parents were divorced and that he hadn't seen his father since he was 6. He didn't want him to know **anything **real.

But he had just been learning how to manipulate and he had miscalculated. He had been sloppy and that had gotten him caught. It all fell apart by a single phone call. He could remember it completely.

Ricky sat on his couch staring accusingly at him. "Sheldon, I thought you were an orphan."

Sands could tell right away that this was a trap and he had no way out. He had figured that telling more lies to try to cover the one he had already told would prove disastrous. So he decided to clear the air entirely. "Nope. I have a mother in Kentucky and a deadbeat father somewhere else. I don't have a sister and I've never been anywhere exciting."

Ricky was staring at him in disbelief. He was staring into what he once thought of as warm brown eyes and realized that they had turned icy. He used to look into Sheldon's eyes and feel warm. Now he looked into the brown depths and he felt alone. "Why would you lie to me?"

At that point Sheldon had stepped close to Ricky so that he was towering over him. "It's fun ad you were an experiment. I wanted to see how much bullshit one human being would accept. The answer is: a lot."

As Ricky stared at him his hurt and confusion showing in his eyes, Sands had laughed. In the end Sheldon's cruel nature had destroyed whatever future they might have had.

Lizzie's voice penetrated his thoughts. "Sands? You have a visitor."

"Let her in." He knew that it had to be his mother. After all, he never got visitors and the only person that he was expecting was Marie-Anne Sands. Just as Lizzie turned to leave Sands grabbed her arm. "Did you tell her anything?"

Lizzie read the panic etched on his face. "No." For some strange reason; he felt it important that he tell his mother. She thought that this was odd. If it was her in the same situation she'd be more than happy to let someone else explain things but this was Sands they were talking about; Mr. Independent.

Once released Lizzie walked into the waiting room. "Mrs. Sands?"

The woman with the dark hair and chocolate brown eyes looked up. Lizzie guessed that Sheldon's eyes had probably been that colour. When she asked what colour his eyes had been and all he had said was brown.

"Your son will see you now."

When they walked into the room she noticed that Sheldon had moved to the bed. Marie-Anne had guessed that something wasn't right; it wasn't overly bright in the room and yet her son was wearing sunglasses.

"Sheldon?"

He turned his head towards her voice. He could smell her perfume; it was the same one she had worn since he was little. "Hi Mom. I'm glad that you could make it. Lizzie, leave."

"Sheldon! I taught you better manners than that."

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "It's okay Mrs. Sands. I'm Sheldon's personal nurse, I'm used to his attitude."

Sheldon turned sharply towards her voice. His voice holding the edge of a warning. "You need to leave now."

"Okay." She left the two of them alone in the room.

After the door closed Marie-Anne stared in disbelief at her son. He had an acid tongue, he always did but the way he talked to that woman, nurse or not was inexcusable. "Shel. Why did you talk to her like that?"

"Never mind that. Mom," he ran a hand through his hair, careful not to knock the sunglasses. "We can discuss that later. Right now I need a favour."

She sighed. "I knew it. You got yourself into trouble and you need me to get you out. Is that it?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly. I need a place to stay for a bit. I've been forced into an early retirement by the CIA. So until all the paper work clears I need a place to crash. Before you say yes I have something you need to know."

She shook her head. She knew her son could be dramatic but this was ridiculous. "Sheldon. I'm your mother."

Sheldon shook his head. "Mom please. Just don't scream." Slowly he took his sunglasses off. It was the first time he'd done it without wanting it for shock value.

She put her hand over her mouth. His eyes were gone. In their place were dark, empty sockets. The edges were red, puffy and swollen looking. "What happened?"

Sands sighed. "I can't tell you. Not here, the walls have ears."

"I understand. As soon as they okay you to leave you're coming home with me. Then we're going to have a very long talk." To her relief he put his sunglasses back on. She couldn't imagine what he could have been through for that to happen. She felt disgusted with herself. This was **her son**. Her only child and she had cringed when he faced her.

He made sure the sunglasses were straight. "Mom, I really hate to do this but I'm tired and my head hurts. What I need right now is sleep."

She out her hand on top of his and she was saddened when he jumped and tried to pull away. She let go of his hand. "Alright Shel. I'll be back later."

He was grateful that she was leaving and that she hadn't tried to push the issue. He knew that once he was living with her than he would have to bare his soul. He settled into the softness of his pillows. He took a deep breath.

He was released three days later.


	4. Chapter 4

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None (so far)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 4

She had sent her sister to pick him up. There were a couple of different reasons she did this. First off, the doctors had suggested it. She had thought they were crazy; it was no big secret that her son didn't like surprises. She had told them this but they had insisted. They said that he needed to get used to the roadblocks that being blind would throw at him. This basically was their way of saying that as long as he remained in the hospital he was sheltered, protected. Once he was removed the real fun would begin. When Marie-Anne had warned them that a startled Sheldon usually resulted in a body count they had laughed at her. _Fine. Their funeral_.

Laura Shells walked into the hospital. She reminded herself that she was doing this as a favour to Marie-Anne. She never really liked her nephew; his behaviour had always seemed a bit odd to her. But Marie-Anne had no one else to turn to, so she had volunteered her services.

Laura couldn't figure it out. For years she hadn't heard anything about Sheldon, and then Marie-Anne had been looking for someone to pick him up. That afternoon, after she had went to her sister's and told her that she was on her way to the hospital; Marie-Anne had looked her straight in the face, "Don't be shocked."

Now she was wandering around the hospital; hopelessly lost trying to find his room. Finally she found it, one of the doctors was standing outside the door and she presumed that he was waiting for her.

"You must be Mrs. Shells."

She nodded pleasantly and shook his hand. "Is he ready?"

The doctor peered into the room. "The men that came to talk to him are almost finished. I have to admit; with a personality like his it must be hard being related to him."

She shrugged. "We don't talk much."

"I see. When you go in, start talking right away. Let him recognize you."

She hadn't the slightest idea what the doctor was talking about. The confusion that she was feeling must have shown on her face.

"Mrs. Shells, did Mrs. Sands tell you about Sheldon's….condition?"

"He's blind."

The door swung open and the two men stormed out. They obviously weren't happy about the conversation they had. Laura snickered; if Sheldon hadn't changed drastically since the last time she saw him then just the act of having a conversation with Sands was unpleasant.

"Hey Shelly." Laura said cheerily as she walked through the door.

He turned to face her. _I know that voice,_ "Who the hell are you?"

She stood in front of him. "I'm surprised you don't recognize me."

_You didn't even see it coming, did you?_

He had to push Ajedrez's voice out of his head. Now was not the time to become disoriented and lost; inside his head no less. He tried to concentrate on the voice. It was far away and yet familiar. "Say something again."

She smiled; she could literally see the wheels in his head spinning. "When you were little, every summer you'd come to my house. You loved to watch the ducks swim in the pond."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows; she could see it over his sunglasses. "Aunt Laura?"

She put her hand over his. "Do you know anyone else who calls you Shelly?"

"Yeah. But I killed them all." The smile that he had on his face suggested that he was joking.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Definitely."

She was surprised when he pulled a folded blind stick out of his pocket. She felt sure that he would've counted such a thing as a weakness. Weaknesses were not acknowledged or tolerated as far as Sheldon was concerned. She figured that he probably realized that fir him it wasn't a weakness but a necessity.

He followed the sound of her footsteps but despite his best efforts he was already starting to panic. The dark seemed too final, too close.

Laura was shocked as she felt his hand clamp down on her shoulder. "Shel?"

He shook his head. "I'm okay, just keep walking."

She walked out into the parking lot; his hand never left her shoulder. As soon as they got outside he found his cigarettes, and with only with a little difficulty he managed to get it lit.

He took a drag and released the smoke in a shaky breath. He took a longer drag and more confidently released the smoke. He could literally feel the nicotine working on his fraying nerves. This was exactly what he needed. He threw what was left of his cigarette on the ground. Laura stepped on it to put it out as she walked over to his side of the car and opened his door.

"Can you buckle in okay?"

He reached his arm up and found his seat belt. With his other hand, he found the buckle; he connected the two with no difficulty at all. He looked in her direction and grinned. He knew that she had been expecting him to have trouble. He knew that she thought that he had it down, what she didn't know was that it had taken all of his concentration to make it look easy. He sat listening to the sounds around him.

She sat in her seat and started the car. She could hardly believe that this man that sat beside her was blind. She drove towards her sister's house. She wondered what sort of mess her nephew had gotten himself into. By the time she reached her sister's house, she decided that she didn't care. _After all, as soon as Sheldon is out of my car, he ceases to be my problem._

"Okay Shelly. We're here."

She got out of the car. She closed her door; Sheldon was already out of the car and tapping his way to the front door. She watched him walk and for the first time she believed that the Great Sheldon Sands was blind. It was just a slight awkwardness to the way that he walked. She could tell that he was desperately trying to make it look like he knew where he was going.

Marie-Anne heard the car and opened the front door. She was standing on her porch watching her son struggle with walking to the front door. She didn't like the way that his face was expressionless; it made his moods almost impossible to read. She sawLaura start to walk towards Sheldon but Marie-Anne shook her head. She knew that to offer him help now would be the same as assuming that he was unable to do it. She knew her son; his fierce sense of independence would not allow for such a thing.

Sheldon managed to get to the porch in one piece and without looking totally lost. He felt something lightly brush his hand and he sharply pulled away.

Marie-Anne smiled. Even after every thing that he had been through, he was as paranoid as ever. "Sheldon. It's okay, it's just me." She was grateful that he seemed to relax.

"I'm holding the door open. Come on in."

Laura stayed silent as Marie-Anne went through the living room, kitchen, bathroom and his room. She didn't bother going through any of the rooms Laura was surprised how quickly Sheldon seemed to gasp on to where things were. If she didn't know any better she wouldn't have known that he was blind.

He turned so where he thought his mother stood. "If it's all the same to you and Aunt Laura, I'm going to bed."

"I'll wake you when supper's ready." He made a face. "You'll have to take your painkillers then anyway."

He nodded, showing an air of indifference. He stumbled up the stairs and cursed himself for being tired.

After they heard his door shut, Laura looked at her sister. "He's strange. How sure are you that he'd blind?"

Marie-Anne smiled. She had wondered if her son had told her why he's been in the hospital. "He can't be faking his condition. My son has no eyes."

Laura looked skeptical but didn't ask anything further. She knew that her nephew was CIA and that meant risky missions with drastic consequences should he fail. So the chances of torture were quite high. Laura looked at her sister. "Do you need anything else?"

Marie-Anne seemed to seriously consider the question. She debated on asking her to stay but she knew she couldn't do that. She had already asked too much. "No. But thank-you so much for bringing him home."

She smiled. "No problem." Laura left the house, not envying her sister in the slightest.


	5. Chapter 5

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 5

Marie-Anne had supper ready. She was on her way upstairs when she heard her son scream. She ran up the rest of the stairs and into her son's room. She didn't wake him right away. He was clearly having a nightmare but she hoped he would calm down. To her relief he didn't scream again. He curled into a ball and whimpered. She waited for the whimpering to quiet down and then she lightly tapped his shoulder.

The minute her hand made contact with his shoulder he was up. His hand clamped down on her wrist and he twisted her arm and somehow managed to pull it behind her back. She steadied her voice. "Sheldon. It's your mother. Let me go."

He instantly released her arm. "I'm sorry. Force of habit."

"Don't worry about it." She smiled, even though she knew he couldn't see it.

His facial features tightened and it took every ounce of control that he had not to grab his head and scream.

Marie-Anne could read the pain on his face. Sheldon never did like taking medications of any kind. But she could see that whether he liked it or not he was going to have to be medicated and more than likely on a regular basis for a while. "Open your hand."

He opened his hand she had to steady it with her own and she had to help him hold the glass of water. After his medication, despite his stubborn nature and the grumbling she assisted him down the stairs.

During supper Sands knew of another reason why being blind sucked. Every meal had the potential for being a disaster. Marie-Anne sat and watched as her 26-year-old son struggled with the simple task of feeding himself. There were times when he'd give up and ask for her help, but most of the time, he would hold on to his dignity and do it himself.

Marie-Anne more often then not would leave him to his own devices. She knew that he was hurting, but she had heard about Jena breaking up with him and she knew why. She wished that she could help her son but she had no idea how.


	6. Chapter 6

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 6

Jena listened to the message that Marie-Anne had left on her machine.

"Jena. We need to talk. I know what you did at the hospital. I think that was in extremely poor taste. Call me."

She turned off the answering machine. She figured that Sheldon wouldn't have been released from the hospital already so it would be safe to see Mrs. Sands. She got into her car and drove to the house.

Marie-Anne was surprised to see Jena at her front door. When she had said that they needed to talk she hadn't meant right away. Although she was glad that Sheldon was napping, the last thing she needed was a fight (or a corpse) in her living room. "Jena, how are you?"

"I can't complain. May I come in?"

"Certainly."

They sat at the dining room table. Marie-Anne made coffee. "As I said in my message, I consider what you did to be shameful. You two were planning a future together and the minute there's an obstacle you bail."

"Now hold on Marie-Anne. To be fair this wasn't just any obstacle. I went from having a fiancée that had a good job and stability to one with no eyes. That's quite a big jump."

Marie-Anne put both hands around her cup and glared at the blond woman. This was the woman that her son had loved—probably still **did **love and here she was acting like an idiot. "Did you see?"

Jena shook her head. "No. I couldn't. It would have been too much."

Marie-Anne smiled. "I want you to go upstairs to his room, look at him and tell me if you think he's any different." Marie-Anne stood up and waited for Jena to do the same. As they walked up the stairs Jena began to feel nervous. She knew that there was a possibility that he might have his sunglasses off. She couldn't bear to look at what may be underneath.

She quietly opened the door to his room. He was lying on his bed; his stick folded in his hand but still attached to his wrist. He was on his stomach, his shirt slightly riding up his back and she could see some of the familiar scars that marred his body. Watching him like this, his head slightly turned so that his sunglasses didn't dig into him, too much, she could pretend that he was normal. But that wouldn't be fair to Sands and she knew that sooner or later she would have to face him without the sunglasses.

Marie-Anne closed the door and they walked back downstairs and sat at the table. "Is he still so different?"

Jena looked at Marie-Anne, almost as if she was trying to read her thoughts. "With the sunglasses on I'm sure he looks fine but what do I do if he decides he wants to take them off? I can't go through with marrying him and expect him to never take them off."

As they talked they never heard him walk down the stairs and into the room. He recognized Jena's voice immediately. He extended his cane and tapped into the room.

"Jena. How very thoughtful of you to visit me. However, I don't want to—I don't want you here."

Jena looked at him. He had that sharpness to his voice that usually meant that you were pissing him off. That tone never used to bother her but now it sent chills down her spine. "Sheldon I-"

He walked towards her, and with uncanny accuracy he grabbed her chin and jerked her head forward. With his other hand he ripped the glasses off his face and stared right at her. "Is this what you were afraid to see? Now you have nothing left to fear. Can you see me now? Can you bear it?"

He was shaking with anger. She was trembling with fear. Marie-Anne stayed quiet; she knew what was coming next. Sheldon was his father's son and had inherited his father's temper. That was why when he hit Jena, hard enough to knock her to the floor, she didn't move to stop him or get in between them.

He looked down at where he thought she had landed. "I don't want your pity. Get out."

As Jena got up she pointed her finger at Marie-Anne. "I told you that me coming here was a bad idea. And look at all the good it's done me. I hope you're happy. Whatever future we may have had is dead." She all but ran out of the house. It was true she had loved him once. She had even wanted to have his baby-once. But that was a long time ago, before she realized what an ass he could be.

As soon as Jena was gone Sheldon sat in the empty kitchen chair. "You invited that bitch here. I can't believe you."

Marie-Anne stared at her son. They had been close, when he was small. Now they were like strangers. Her little boy had turned into a monster. He was cold and calculating. If she didn't know better she would have doubted that he was human. "Sheldon…"

"Be quiet. Give me my glasses."

She picked up the glasses off the floor and placed them in his hand. As he recovered his sockets, once again hiding them from view she realized that she was afraid of him. She knew what his father had done to him wasn't right. She knew what the Cartel had done to him was even worse, but that didn't mean that he had the right to be abusive.

All the same, having been married to Jeffrey Sands (also an abusive husband) she was very quiet and cautious when he spoke to him. "Sheldon, for years before you were born I put up with your father's physical and verbal abuse because I was told that's what a good wife did. I know that you only act the way you do because you don't want to get hurt. I understand that."

Sheldon shook his head. "I hit her because she was being stupid. I don't know what you were thinking. Don't invite anyone I know over again. I know that it's just going to end in disaster. I'm going back to bed."

She watched as her son walked back up the stairs and shook her head. She remembered a time when Jeffrey Sands had called the boy soft, she wondered, if they were to meet now if that bastard would still think that. She didn't think so.


	7. Chapter 7

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 7

Sands hates dreaming. Even when his dreams seem less torturous they still suck. He knows he's dreaming because he can see. This being said he can't be bothered to acknowledge his fear.

He's cowering behind the couch, hoping that his hiding place is good enough that his father won't find him. His father had been drinking again and with Mommy at work this is never a good thing for 4-year-old Sheldon.

The man in his dreams is more of a monster than anything else. He seems inhumanly tall and impossibly strong. The 4 year old yelps as his arm is grabbed and he is dragged from his hiding spot. The man throws the child on the floor. As the child is punched and kicked he learns a valuable lesson—that in life if you want to be strong you must be in control.

Sheldon sits up in bed. He can feel his stick in one hand and the cool softness of his sheets in the other. That's another thing with being blind, he tries to tell himself that he is awake and that everything is okay as it's ever going to get but he isn't sure. His heart freezes in his chest and he can feel fear chasing up his spine (he hates that feeling) as he hears jingling downstairs.

As he puts his sunglasses back on (he took them off when he decided to sleep) he considers the impossibility of what he thinks is happening. _If that fucking Mexican is here he won't be for long because I'm going to kill him_.

Marie-Anne on the other hand didn't know whether to believe this gentleman or not. He just showed up at her front door, claiming to know Sheldon. She let him in because she honestly didn't know what else to do.

El stood in the doorway. He had no idea what he was doing here. He couldn't explain why he had felt the urge to find Sands. Either way, Sands was here (sitting in a sparsely lit room with sunglasses on, which El thought was a little strange) but he was here.

Sheldon sat on his bed, blind stick concealed in his hand. He was using all of his remaining senses to try and figure out who was at his door. He knew the scent of the other man's cologne immediately, combined with the jingling of the chains and the sound of him putting the guitar case on the floor. "El." Sheldon tried to keep his voice steady, tried to remain calm but the fact was he was falling apart and he knew it.

El sat on the edge of the bed. He was sure that Sands knew that the guitar case was full of guns. He felt it less likely that he would be shot if he tried to put him at ease.

"Sands."

Sands sat up completely. He reached for his cigarettes on the nightstand and pulled one out. He lit it (grateful that he had this down to a science), took a drag and 'looked' at El. "You fucked me over. You didn't wait for the president to be killed. Although, I couldn't help but notice that you made sure Marquez was killed, not to mention that the 20 million pesos mysteriously disappeared. Thanks."

"After the Day of the Dead I went to look for you. I knew that you hadn't been killed. Men like us aren't that lucky. A little boy, selling bubble gum told me that a blind gun fighter had been captured by the Americans. I did not know that you were blind, you hadn't been the last time that I saw you."

Sands took a drag off the cigarette and let the smoke come out of his nose. He knew that if they were in a cartoon he would have smoke coming out both ears as well. "Okay. Why did you come looking for me?"

El shook his head. "I don't know. I don't like you, I would have been perfectly happy living Guitar Town forever. But I **had **to find you."

Sands snubbed out his cigarette. "Okay. You found me. I'm fine now fuck off." Sheldon thought that he wanted him to leave, he could even trick himself into believing that he wanted him to leave. However, he knew that El was the last connection he had from before his eyes were taken.

El sat, staring at the man. He found the sunglasses unnerving. He had no idea what was under then but he knew that this was not the same snarky, arrogant man that had asked him to kill Marquez.

"Stop staring at me. You want to know?"

"No."

"Sure you do." Sands lifted the sunglasses from his face.

El barely managed to suppress his gasp. He had thought when they first met that Sheldon was a beautiful man. He was not gay; he still loved Carolina and he always would. He realized that Sands was shaking. He was sure it wasn't out of anger. His breathing was becoming shallow and every muscle in his body was tense. El was sure that he was making a mistake but went for it anyway.

He pulled Sheldon into a hug, practically pulling the other msn into his lap. For the first few minutes Sheldon's body relaxed against El. El ran a hand through Sheldon's hair and began to sing softly in his ear. It had been his experience that soothing music calmed down just about anyone. He was glad to find that Sands wasn't any difference. It was only a few minutes before he was asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 8

He was dreaming again. In his dream he was laying in bed with El. None of this hit him as odd. It felt good to be able to lie close to someone, listen to the beating of their heart and know that if you relaxed they wouldn't kill you.

Sheldon sat up suddenly. It was dark (as it always was); he could hear a gentle murmur in his ear, a hand in his hair and a familiar cologne in his nose. He was unsure as to when he became so comfortable. He wasn't sure that this was a safe thing to do.

El watched the other man. He had been a musician before he became an assassin. He was a bit more sensitive to the needs and body languages of other people then the average person. That's how; even without looking at Sheldon's face he could tell that Sands was having an inner struggle. "What is it?"

Sands snuggled closer despite the alarm bells going off in his head. "Ajedrez hurt me, betrayed me and so I killed her. Jena had said she loved me but once I was," he waved a hand in front of his face, "mutilated I was no longer worth her time. Now where do I stand? I can't be what I was. The man that I had been is dead. Why are you here?"

El shrugged. "I originally came here to see if you were okay. Now… I don't know."

There was an eerie silence Sands was unsure what to do with the feelings that he was having. This man, who he lay beside, had in fact fucked him and yet he didn't want him to leave. "Fuck it." He had never been good with feelings or anything emotional. "Stay, leave or go back to Guitar Town. It doesn't matter."

El nodded. He had expected that something like this would happen. Sands didn't hit him as the type of guy to be able to be emotionally open. "What do **you** want?"

"Revenge."

El snickered. If there was one thing he knew, it was that getting revenge **never **solved anything. He had killed Bucho because of his girlfriend being shot and because he had been shot in the hand. Bucho had been his brother. That hadn't solved anything or magically made better. He and Carolina had still had their lives ripped apart. General Marquez had seen to that.

Then Sands had presented him with an opportunity that he hadn't believed he would get. Sands gave him the chance to kill Marquez and against his better judgment he had done it. He should have listened to the voice in his head but he didn't.

In the end, revenge got them both. He had made his kill and now he had nothing. Sands had gone against the grain, attempted the impossible and now he was blind—forever. Just as El was alone forever. Was Sands the missing piece of his heart? He hoped not.

El lifted Sands' chin up and looked into the dark abyss. Sands was shaking slightly but he was desperately trying not to let it show.

"El?"

El gently ran his fingers through Sheldon's hair. "What will revenge give you? Will you magically be able to see again?"

Sheldon pulled El's hand away. He buried his face in the Mexican's chest. "No."

"Then why got after it? And besides that most of the Cartel members are dead anyway. Even if you did manage to find them and kill them, then what?"

Sands just shook his head. He hated that El made sense. "What now then? The life that I thought I had to come back to is gone. I'm stuck in this shit-hole of a town that I thought I had left for good years ago. What do I do now?"

El lifted Sands' hand to his lips. At first Sheldon had no idea what El was doing, then he realized, the fucker was smiling and he wanted him to know that. "Okay so you find the situation hilarious."

"You must be blind. I'm here for you and you can't even see that."

Sands was quiet. He hadn't seen that coming either. Last time he hadn't seen something it had cost him. Everything around him was telling him that this was a trap. He felt helpless. He hated feeling helpless.

El immediately picked up on the cues Sands' body was sending him. Sheldon's body temperature visibly dropped, his breathing had sped up and all the muscles in his body had gone rigid. "Sands?" He was frightened when he got no response.

Sands didn't respond because he was trapped inside his head. The memory was hazy at best. His father holding his hand leading him into a mostly dark room. He was young, five at the most. He remembered sitting on the bed and then there was pain, like a hot light all around him. His father telling him that it was all right and that he shouldn't cry. Then nothing.

"Sands." El was drawing soothing patterns on the back of one of Sands' hands with his index finger.

Sands shook his head to clear it. "El. What to you want from me?" He was terrified of the answer. He didn't know what he'd do if El wanted _that_.

"Companionship."

Sands shook his head. "You bastard. I can't be the person that you want. I'm weak."

El noticed that there was blood starting to drip from Sheldon's palm. He gently over-turned Sheldon's palm and opened his hand. He knew, without looking up that Sands wasn't facing him anymore, he was shaking and that usually meant that he was crying. El put his hand against the side of Sheldon's face. He shifted so that he was lying next to Sheldon, holding his face and whispering in his ear. "You are **not **weak. I know what the Cartel did to you and you're still here."

Sands pulled away from El's touch (not showing on his face how much he didn't want to). "This isn't about Mexico, not everything was."

El pulled Sands closer to him and gently rubbed his back. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Sands shook his head. "You'll just use it against me."

El held him tighter. He knew that if he could get Sands to open up to him that maybe he'd be able to understand why the man was the way he was. "I wouldn't come all the way over here just to backstab you." As he rubbed Sands' back he was amazed at how quickly Sheldon calmed down and relaxed.

"It's nothing. I barely remember it."

El shook his head. "No. Obviously it does bother you, enough to give you nightmares." He was stroking the side of Sands' face. He knew he must have been doing something because Sands was leaning into his touch.

"It's blurred. I'm pretty sure that my psyche has blocked most things out but I'm positive that my father; Jeffrey Sands hurt me. I'm certain my mother found out and that was why they divorced. The only thing that I do remember is that there were people in the room and I was almost always in pain. I haven't had dreams about it in years. They only seemed to have resurfaced since I moved back here."

El knew what he wanted to ask Sands but didn't know if he should. It was clear that Sands didn't trust him. It was also obvious that his nightmares weren't going to stop until he moved. "Sands?"

"Hmm?" Sheldon was positive that El was going to ask him to move. He didn't want to. He liked the feeling of another person being this close to him. Most of his brain was relaxed but the CIA-trained portion was screaming at him to get up and run.

"Come away with me." El scrunched his nose at the way that that came out. It had sounded much better in his head. He had **never **had this problem with Carolina; words with her were always easy. Sands was difficult.

Sands eyebrows rose from the edge of his glasses. "You're serious?"

El nodded. "Si. You aren't doing well here and I don't do well alone. Do you want some time to think about it?"

"Last time I trusted someone," He took off his glasses, "we all know what happened."

El kissed his forehead. He did it to shock Sands into shutting up. He did it because he wanted to. It did shut Sheldon up, briefly.

Sheldon reached up and returned the kiss, but on El's mouth rather than his forehead. The kiss left the both of them breathless.

"If we don't stop now," El panted. "I'll want you out of your clothes."

Sands kissed him again. "And we can't have that now, can we?


	9. Chapter 9

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 9

Sands lay in bed. The blankets fitting comfortably around his waist, his face pressed up against El's back. He couldn't say that he had been surprised that they had sex. He **had **been surprised that he liked it; although he was still slightly confused as to how it happened.

Now he had a lot to think about. What if he did go with El and it turned out to be a trap? Then what? Go through the bullshit of possibly being tortured again—no thanks. He also realized that he couldn't hide behind his fear forever. He snuggled closer to El. Sleep came a little easier that night.

Some hours later Sands awoke. Waking up for him is always strange. There's no sunlight through his window to tell him that he's awake and the nightmares (memories) that plague is sleep are gone. He had just suddenly floated to the surface of consciousness. Instead of the buzz of the drill or the feeling of a hand on the back of his head, he feels the softness of the sheets under or over him.

He runs a hand over his face, checking for sunglasses—they aren't on his face. He can tell he's the only one in bed. He squishes the panic he can feel starting to build in his chest. Panicking wouldn't help him. He ran his hand over the nightstand—no glasses. He checked under his pillow and all over the surface of the bed, yet still came up empty handed. He decided that he'd take a shower and get dressed. He still had his morning routine to get through. If he had to face the world exposed, he'd do it without cowering in a corner.

Meanwhile downstairs Marie-Anne was listening to a man who had introduced himself as El. "I think that it would be good if he left here."

She tapped her nails in the table. "I don't know. How do I know that you're a friend and not one of the people who are responsible for his current condition?"

El raised an eyebrow. "If I had been don't you think Sands would have killed me?"

She had to admit he had a point. "Where will you take him?"

El had thought about this very carefully and for quite some time. He knew that it was in their best interest if it was somewhere secluded. "I know that it would be in his best interest to stay away from large cities with high populations. My brother had a lot of investments. One of these was a small island in the Caribbean. I'm taking him there. It's secluded enough that he'll be comfortable and should he want to be around people, it's only a three-minute boat ride to the next island. I have a friend there, who used to be a military doctor. Senor Tang has already told me that he would be willing to keep an eye on Sands. I think that if he gets away from here he can forget about Jena—in a sense he can start over."

She sipped her coffee. She wanted to believe that her son would be safe with this man but she had her doubts. She had just gotten her son home, after a very traumatic experience and here he was being taken away again. But on the same hand leaving the States and starting over could be exactly what he needed.

"Have you discussed this with him?"

El tossed his hair out of his face. "Yes and no. I asked him to come with me but I did not tell him where we were going to go. Chances are, he'll come talk to you. I think that it would be really good for him to get away."

She nodded. She didn't want to believe it but she knew that El had a point. She decided that if Sheldon came to her she would tell him that leaving could be for the better.

What they didn't know was that Sheldon was thinking the exact same thing. He had already showered and had a duffle bag packed. He was leaving and with a little luck he's be able to do it without getting caught.

He knew that he couldn't get past them in broad daylight. He would have to be patient and wait for nightfall. His plan (as brilliant as it wasn't) was to stroll right out the front door while his mother slept. He had no idea what he was going to do after that. He hated not having his plans properly thought out, but this would have to do.


	10. Chapter 10

Going Home

Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that you recognize. No money was made from this writing. Don't sue.

Chapter 10

Sheldon had decided to make his move that night. He figured that his clumsy plan would work well enough. He thought that he had covered all the bases. What he had miscalculated was that El was a very smart man and El had seen his escape coming. He smiled as he watched Sands move with a grace that shouldn't be possible. He let Sands get outside and near the end of the property before he said anything.

"Where are you going?"

Sands froze. He had been caught. _Damn. _"El. I need you to understand I have to go. I can't stand being taken care of."

El nodded. He had known that Sheldon had a very fierce independent streak. He, no doubt, felt that he **needed **to take care of himself. "Sands, I understand. But the thing is, you're blind. You cannot function the way you used to. If you come with me the island is big enough that you could be by yourself. But it's small enough that if you got into trouble I could help you."

El closed the distance between them. HE ran his hand over Sands' face. He smiled, despite the fact that Sands had stated over and over again that he didn't need anyone, he leaned into El's touch.

"Okay."

He touched the hand that was still on his face and held it. There was a lot that Sands knew that he should say but he wasn't going to. He knew from experience that feelings were dangerous things. If an enemy knew that you cared about someone; they could exploit that. It was just safer to show no emotion at all.

Sands was lucky in the respect that El knew this. He was no stranger to misery and pain; this knowledge came with life experiences and mistakes that El would **not **make again. Sands was also lucky that El was a patient man and that he had no intention of letting Sheldon go without a fight.

Sheldon on the other hand, was freaking out. He had only made a commitment to a relationship once before. That had been with Jena, and if he was brutally honest with himself, el knew more about him then she ever did. He was terrified that the one time he let his guard down enough to let someone else in something even worse than what he already had been through would happen.

El seemed to know that he would be thinking this. He held him tightly. He had to convey to him (and not just with words) that everything would be all right. He knew he had at the very least, partially succeeded when Sands finally hugged him back. It was quite a while before Sands felt like he could let go.

Epilogue

A week later Marie-Anne watched her son and his friend drive away. She hadn't expected them to go so quickly, but she understood why El felt that the sooner they left the better. Sheldon would have a ton of work ahead of him but with a little luck—who knew? She was surprised; El **had **managed to get behind Sheldon's carefully placed systems. Maybe Sheldon would begin to feel comfortable enough to share his dark secrets. She shrugged. She knew that only time would tell.

The end


End file.
